O Yama, Great Restrainer of yore, I will recognize you when you come to me to remind me that the time for embodiment is over. You are the Restrainer of the Macrocosm, and only by restraining the mind in the microcosm can you be known. Although you are depicted as fearsome, you are not so at all. You are merely the First Restrainer. Long ago, when I was wise, I was you. So I/You was appointed as the Great Restrainer. But owing to ignorance of the mind I fell from your high seat and incarnated again and again in so many forms, until I reached this one. Only if I keep trying to use my mind to access the world through the outgoing senses am I going to be out of harmony with your Law. But if I have practised restraint of the senses regularly, and seen the poison of the world (that terrible kalAhala poison), and also seen the nectar of Bliss that comes in samAdhi, then what fear can be there on your arrival? You are merely a timely reminder, that the time is up in this body. Indeed, why else are you known as KAla!
However, sometimes your precursor is illness and pain. Both these are surely ignorance in another form, owing to imperfect restraint of the senses, past actions and ignorance of body attachment arising from them. Certainly the mind is a slave of memory. Hence, the YS says smRti parishuddhau having cleansed the memory. One must cleanse the memory of the false world and replace it with the true memory of God. This is verily, smRti. This is the one memory that one should not lose (as in BG) krodhAt bhavati sammohah sammohAt smRti vibhramah [from anger arises delusion and from delusion loss of memory]. And the root of anger is nothing but desire.
So if at the time of your arrival there are still latent desires, then the mind wants to continue clinging to the body. This too, is a kliShTa vRtti of the mind. Another tainted turning or mode of the mind called abhiniveshah. It is a clinging to life that is present even in the wise (vidusho'api tathA'rUDhah). So I must guard against this scrupulously. And illness is the great practice for this. Every time one feels ill, the mind is not able to access the world in a pleasurable way through the body. But if one slows down the prANa, then the pain decreases. The mind becomes steady. One sees illness for what it is - an impediment to pleasurable world experience through the senses. By systematically training the mind at the time of illness, even the obstacle of vyAdhi to yoga can be overcome. This does not mean the body will not appear ill, but the mind will not be swayed as much and it will rapidly turn towards God. Indeed caturvidhA bhajante mAm, Arti etc (in BG).
At the time of concluding the embodiment, I will greet you old friend Yama, with the greatest respect. Teach me your great self-restraint. Let me see all desires, fulfilled and unfulfilled, as productive of pain alone: dukham eva sarvam vivekinah (YS). Then lead me happily to the realm of the ancestors: to pitR loka. But I do not want to tarry there; for there are the unfulfilled desires waiting to be reborn in various forms. Grant me wisdom to travel beyond, to the realm of the Gods, deva loka. Don't tempt me with celestial damsels, apsaras, and the like, or with great wealth and dominion. Although I was never as wise as Naciketa, who as a boy rejected your tempting offers, nor was I ever wise as my Guru SrI Adi ShankarAcArya, who also at the tender age of eight, saw through the falsity of the world, grant me wisdom at least at that stage that I may bow to Indra and take his leave. O mind, never forget this! Traveling beyond deva loka, carried by the grace of Uma, Devi, Shakti, let us approach the glorious realm of maha loka. Here the great siddhas and accomplished ones pass their time happily, knowing eternally that all the objects of perception are nothing but the three guNas. Here let us pay our respects to them and move on, knowing them too to be past incarnations of my own self in happier times of greater self-restraint. Then we will reach jana loka where the perfected adepts and siddhas are eternally aware that all the means of perception of objects are also composed of only the three guNas. Paying our respects to them there, let us move onward to tapa loka. Here the glorious RShis of yore are meditating. Most excellent VasiShTha, who never fails to observe the appropriate performances, whom I aspired to but fell so far short of, so often; gracious VishwAmitra, my previous incarnation when I had the power of tapas to restrain the mind for thousands of years. When through latent desire and concupiscence I was tempted by Menaka and then Rambha. Graciously VishwAmitra bestowed the sAvitri gAyatri mantra on mankind. Let us pay our respects and move on.
Now we reach satya loka, the abode of Brahma- O chief mischief maker! It is only on account of your rajas that the whole world came into being! Know therefore, that we revere you but the wise never worship you on bhUloka. Come let us pass on to VaikunTha. Here lies ViShNu, ever protecting creation when He is awake through his sattva. Let us pay our respects and pass on, for now the desire to see the moon-crested Shiva has grown unbearably strong in this mind! O Shiva, how this heart longs for your divine presence! Only through your grace was Manmatha turned to ashes, only you can save the aspiring yogis, being as you are the Original Yogi. O AdinAtha! O greatest of Yogis! grant Thy Grace. Have mercy and cleanse this mind. It has followed the hallowed path of Devi who as ParvatI and aparNA prayed to you. In your presence, in your sannidhi is the greatest Bliss. You are the great Restrainer yourself, for you have power over tamas and all the guNas. From time immemorial we know you are more powerful than Yama; did not MArkaNDeya pray to you and get deliverance from mortality?
Let this mind delight long in the saguNa brahman of Shiva sannidhi, and by His ever-present Grace obtain the non-returning state of nirguNa brahman.
Remembering this at all times, but especially at illness and time of departure from embodiment, there is none who will not be saved. Om ShAntih, ShAntih, ShAntih.
Is it a wonder that on the holy period of Sharad navrAtrI the mind is drawn to such thoughts? May they become permanent through the Grace of Guru.
